The Constitution

Happy Wife is at our Nest in Seward with a friend this weekend. I was left with only two items on my Honey-Do list.

1) Prune Arctic Willow bushes in backyard.

2) Touch up paint in bathroom.

The most important thing about lists, a husband might lament, is not the items so enumerated, but the un-enumerated items.

Readers — Honey-Do list victims in particular — familiar with the 9th amendment to the U.S. constitution will already see where I’m going with this. For all others, a short reminder:

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

My thinking is that way back when, under the cover of night, wives co-opted the language of this amendment and ratified it into the Household Constitution to serve their own treacherous purposes. Without the assent of husbands! Why, just one look at it and the resemblance leaps off the page:

The enumeration in the Honey-Do list, of certain chores, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others the wife wants done.

Basically says that just because I’ve listed two things I want you to make sure you get done while I’m away playing, dear, this does not mean there aren’t other outstanding chores you might want to consider doing as well.

Did you see what The Wives did there? How we, The Husbands, subjects to the household constitution (never mind that we didn’t give our assent), are nevertheless bound for life to complete chores — even those not explicitly listed. Sheesh. So much for spousal sovereignty.