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Friday, January 09, 2004 On Death And Dying    Sue is on display at the Anchorage museum through the 18th. Her bones alone -- at least what was found, a stunning 90 percent -- weigh over three thousand pounds. Fleshed out it's been estimated she was a svelte seven tons. When you stand face to face with a sixty seven million year old T. rex you begin to think about your own age and mortality. You become envious of Sue's. You think, "What would I have to do to be preserved and discovered tens of millions of years after my death?" For Sue it was fate. But now, living in the Holocene as we do, we know the ideal conditions for preservation. We could deliberately choose our final resting place to improve our chances that our hard parts would be on display in some futuristic museum a geologic epoch or two down the road.    Take your dying breath in a shallow estuary or a calm backwater bay where tiny grains of mud and silt will quickly bury you. Fast enough not to be discovered by a modern who might call the police or drag you away to the coroner for autopsy and disposal. Yes, a stealthy burial would be required, but you'd also need the good fortune to be slowly, though gently, blanketed by more and more layers of mud and silt, which over time would compact to rock making the perfect tomb for your skeleton. Then you would just have to hope -- roll the tectonic dice that as you were shifted around the globe during the next sixty million years you were left undisturbed, and at just the right time erosion would expose your greatness. Good luck. But if you were lucky, sixty million years hence people (or whatever uprights will be called by that time) will stand around (unless they've evolved away from legs by then) gawking at you! You might want to take with you some other things that would preserve well -- a metal nameplate in amber around your neck maybe. Stamp in it your name, birth date, the precise geo-coordinates of your death (future geologists will love you for this) and perhaps the top ten reasons why you want your skeleton placed on display.    Hey, it's a long shot for sure, but I'm thinking if Master and I did this, together we'd be a great paleontogogical find. Imagine the headline: "SIXTY MILLION YEAR OLD BIPED AND COMPANION DISCOVERED IN EARTH ROCK FORMATION." Now that's immortality. 10:21:28 PM    Comments disabled © Copyright 2009 Rufus. Nonsense, distribute widely and freely! Last update: 7/1/2009; 9:21:31 AM.			Readers Amused       Home About Me Airedale Philosophy How this all got started       FAQ What's an Upright? Upright: noun : a by and large bipedal companion, also referred to as a human being. What's a Cheechako? Cheechako: noun : a person new to Alaska who has come with the intention to live here. Who's Master? Master: pronoun : just the finest upright on the face of the earth, that's who! To read him is to love him. What's Dogdom? Dogdom: noun : Life's venue from a dog's point of view. What's a Sourdough? Sourdough: noun : A long time Alaskan who has an automatic suspicion of cheechakos. What does Outside mean? Outside: noun : A provincial reference to somplace other than Alaska; usually the lower 48. What's Breakup? Breakup: noun : A uniquely Alaskan season between winter and spring when the snow and ice begins to melt for good. Where is SquareBanks? SquareBanks: slang : A self-evident euphemism for a place widely known as Fairbanks, AK. Where can I read the Houston Trip? Houston Trip: vignette : Here What digital camera do you use? Camera: hardware : Canon Powershot A80 (4.0 MP) Who's Mom? Mom: Hottie : Have A Look What's a Squeakamunka? Squeakamunka: noun : your ordinary gray squirrel which can be seen everywhere in our Cleveland neighborhood! « Alaska Blogs »  Stories Fiction Boy Wonder Bat Girl Objects in Mirror Are Larger Than They Appear Used To Be Fish Skin Deep Essay Life Is Good Desert Nostalgia A Voice of Reason Fictional Four Realms of Darkness Poetry Lucky Chain  The Cycling Pages 1999 Canadian Tour 2000 Tour of Alaska "Yooper" : 2001 Tour of WI/Michigan UP 2001 Spine of Italy Tour 2002 Tour of New England 2004 Tour of New Zealand (coming soon!) 2005 Tour Of Nova Scotia Conways Game of Life (needs java plugin) Sometimes Interesting Billy Greg (Hiatus) Virginia Postrel Wendy McElroy Samizdata Atlantic Monthly Reason No Treason Slashdot Derke Lowe Heather Champ (Photo blog) T.C. Boyle Liquid Generation Improved Clinch Exquisite Corpse, A. Codrescu Fred On Everything Assymetrical Information The Daily Ablution (Hibernation) Lileks Frank Kelly (Hiatus) Up In Alaska