Ordered a hoodie online. Two weeks ago. Hasn’t arrived yet. Didn’t realize I’d checked the shipping option: “Dog Sled”. Amusingly, this morning I get a cheery e-mail inviting me to complete a survey about the product, and the company I ordered from. “$5 if you do!” the email teased.<\/p>\n
Okay, this should be fun. First survey question asked me to rate the product on five separate features. Snicker. Checked N\/A for all five and clicked “Next.” This must’ve puzzled the survey bot because the next screen entreated me to call customer service — anytime of day we’re here for you! — if by chance there was something wrong with my order.<\/p>\n
Ring, ring… “Hi, this is Darcy (?), how may I help you today?”<\/p>\n
I explained to Darcy I wasn’t able to complete the survey to evaluate the product because I hadn’t received it yet. Click click click<\/em> I heard her type, and then suddenly she stops and says, trepidatiously: “Ohhh, you live in Alaska.” As if Alaska was equivalent to the moon. She went on to explain that when their company ships to Alaska it’s equivalent to international, whereby the package starts with FedEx, is eventually transferred to the post office and must go through customs along the way. “Customs?” I said, “it’s a hoodie.”<\/p>\n Over the course of the next few minutes she repeatedly begged my forgiveness so often I wondered if she was paid by the apology. She refunded the shipping charge and said I should expect to see the refund in 5-6 business days. “In other words before the hoodie arrives,” I quipped. If Darcy thought this remark was witty there was no indication. More penance ensued, until eventually I got sucked into the pity party and started feeling sorry for her. This, in spite of my irritation arising from her over- and mis-use of the adverb: “actually.” My latest pet peeve. That deserves a post all its own.<\/p>\n Latest shipping track says the hoodie is in Kent, WA, where it arrived a week ago and has been languishing since, evidently now in the hands of the U.S. post office. By the time I get it it’ll be too warm to wear hoodies. If it doesn’t fit or for any reason I am dissatisfied with the hoodie I was assured I may return it for a full refund. Ha ha ha, that’s the ticket, yeah, if I do I’ll return it via bike messenger, call Darcy and tell her to expect it in 6-8 business months, actually<\/em>. Cue satisfying laughter….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ordered a hoodie online. Two weeks ago. Hasn’t arrived yet. Didn’t realize I’d checked the shipping option: “Dog Sled”. Amusingly, this morning I get a cheery e-mail inviting me to complete a survey about the product, and the company I ordered from. “$5 if you do!” the email teased. Okay, this should be fun. First […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wikipediapreview_detectlinks":true,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3314"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3324,"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3314\/revisions\/3324"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rknibbe.com\/Wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}