I… Fall… To Pieces

Happy wife is in Barrow, Alaska for the weekend attending an oncology conference. If you can believe that. I can’t. She texted excitedly to say she may get to eat whale fin tonight! I’m like, don’t worry about saving any for me, dear. Barrow was recently renamed Utqiaġvik, a name I cannot pronounce, and for reasons beyond me. It’s supposedly a “damp” city, meaning no booze, except supposedly you can bring in your own. Who knows for sure, I sure as hell don’t. In any case, I miss her already and she only just left a day ago.

I’m left minding the Black Dog who found another toy in the closet I left open accidentally while in the cellar rooting around for a bottle of wine. He eviscerated it in like 30 seconds and now there’s white fluff scattered everywhere like there was a cotton storm in the house. The backyard grass is high and the dandelions are out of control. Poop needs picked up. There’s something on my back the dermatologist should see. I downloaded books to the Kindle I haven’t even started to read. I have a proposal due at work. The cars need washing. Black Dog needs walking tomorrow. I should load the dishwasher. I need to backup the computer to the backup drive. The Nest needs a new water heater. Speaking of which… FEMA’s breathing down my neck to prove the Nest is in a “preferred” flood zone so we can continue to “enjoy” the preferred rate – $600/year – for mandatory flood insurance. Our dental hygienist of many years died of brain cancer last week. Our good friend in California lost his job recently just before closing on his new house. Our shorelines are eroding, storms are more fierce, poverty’s never been worse, refugees everywhere, racism is on the rise, Trump is president, Alaska is broke and there’s no relief in sight. Even worse – the weather forecast is bleak and my bike tour begins Sunday.

How’s your day going!

I know better, but I still sometimes fall victim to click bait

They’re both wearing scarves. That’s your first clue it’s bogus. Pierce Brosnan would never wear a scarf. The background is slanted to make them look strong, resilient, unaffected by change. They’re like, yeah, California might slide into the ocean, but whatev, fools may care, our portfolio is awesome. But then you read closer… it’s free – Free! So you do a mouse over at first, no harm in that. But that fires a popup to try and lure you in – “Advisors are standing by to take your call. Don’t wait, click now!” Uh huh. Sure. To do what, sell me a scarf?

I’m tellin’ ya, I fall to pieces when this one’s away