Last night I experienced something on the grand distribution of highly unlikely things. Like getting mauled by a polar bear and a regular bear in the same day.
Recall I left the doctor’s office yesterday morning reassured that the likely cause of my right quadrant pain was a torn oblique, or related musculature. I was relieved, even cheery. So later when I picked up the Happy Wife from work we stopped at one of our favorite watering holes to discuss the events of our day over a glass or three of wine. So far so good.
At home things changed. I’m standing by the kitchen sink after having playfully lifted the Happy Wife off the ground, then setting her down again, when all of a sudden I experience this wicked discomfort in my lower left quadrant. This time visceral, not muscular. Unrelated to lifting. Now what? Discomfort quickly transmogrifies into pain, maybe five on a scale of ten. Followed shortly by six, then seven, rapidly segueing to a buckled-over-on-all-fours eight.
Off to the ER, where there’s a line, but not a long one. Happy Wife champions my cause and suggests to the admitting nurse she perform triage — by now I’m expressing the kind of pain I’m told women experience during childbirth, ninety-nine on a scale of ten. On to a rolly bed I went, variably mumbling and screeching nonsense.
Have you guessed yet?
Then came the morphine. Ooooh the moorfeeen. At last I’ve found you! My nonsense increased measurably, I went logarithmic.
In the CT room I was asked again what my name and DOB was. “Surely you know by now,” I think I said, “this is the sixth time I’ve been asked that tonight!” Sir, your name and DOB please.
Drumbeat….
Yup, 3mm stone in my kidney. Right at the base of the ureter. Permission to enter bladder sir? Yes, pleaz. And more morphine please! Six milligrams in the IV and I’m back in the clouds, a most lovely place. A short nap, after midnight now, and when I awake I’m pain free. Out of the woods? So it seemed. Discharged and off to the all night Walgreens for take home drugs we went.
I figure the stone is still in my bladder today, as the pain comes and goes, but Percocet is a wonderful thing.
And now I pee into a strainer, like panning for gold.
Based on your experience of dealing with a kidney stone, and a couple of my brothers’ experiences, I am extremely thankful I have not experienced a kidney stone.
Morphine can be a wonderful thing, at times, it’s like dreaming while your wide awake.
Glad you got through this, RKN. Now, I’m gonna go and drink a large glass of water.
By any means, hydrate!
And thank you.