Hold the Dextro-

Head feels like it was injected with cotton from a gun used to spray insulation.

Ugh.

Nothing like a shot of Dextromethorphan laced with Acetaminophen to keep this cold victim sleeping soundly. Pharmacologically speaking, Dextro- is a dissociative hallucinogen, albeit a relatively mild one in the dosage I took. And it’s available over the counter — what a country!

Molecularly speaking, the active metabolite of Dextro- (like many “pro-drugs“, Dextro- is first metabolized in the liver by the CYP enzymes into an “active” drug) is an NMDA receptor antagonist. NMDA is a cell surface protein (receptor) in the brain that acts to control neural plasticity and memory. When the drug binds to NMDA it inhibits this activity. More than you wanted to know?! Consider yourself fortunate, usually you’d have to pay big bucks to learn this stuff from PhDs.

Anyhoo, I don’t know what, specifically, the Dextro- “disassociates” us from, but it sure does induce wacko dreams.

In one, I was driving a car in the city where I grew up (physically, not intellectually, that came later) and my passengers were two people I recognized I went to high school with. They’re married now, to each other, a real Ken ‘n Barbie thing. Anyway, at one point the three of us were driving on what I recall was the freeway, I went right instead of left and suddenly the road just ended. There was no time to stop. Off the edge we went, into the air, for what felt like minutes, one of those dreams where you’re helplessly falling and there’s nothing to do but wait.

We crashed into the murk of the Milwaukee River, all of us shaken but uninjured. I remember climbing from the car soaking wet and Barbie was complaining because she needed to get to work and how the hell were we going to get her car (why I was driving her car I don’t know) out of the damn river. And then we were at some house (don’t know whose) waiting for Barbie to shower and dress for work.

And then Happy Wife must’ve turned over in bed, rousing me from the dream state.

Figures I should get a cold now, we leave for Maui a week from today. We were fortunate to be able to upgrade to 1st class.

“Mr. Nibbe, is there anything more I can get for you?”

“Why yes, two more Mai Tais, and a shot of Dextromethorphan. Oh, and another Mai Tai for Happy Wife too, please, ‘cept hold the Dextro- on that one.”