Great Satan

The Supreme Leader ordered the killing of an aged Imam. Not surprisingly, the Israelis were in on it too. Epic Fury! I’m curious how many big tuff Warrior Ethos guys it took to come up with that name, or, for that matter, Midnight Hammer. Sounds like the titles of Clancy books. Ordinarily, when a world leader dies, deepest sympathies are effusively extended to the victim country by other world leaders, embassies, dignitaries, and various bureaus of mourning. This time pretty much all you hear is good riddance m’f*cker. Although, if you ask me, it would be a mistake to think nobody is mourning his death

Khamenei was the thirty-seven-year running Imam of Iran, a country of over ninety million people, the vast majority of whom are adherents to a sect of Islam known as Shia, not to be confused with the competing sect of Sunni, widely practiced in other Islamic countries, places like Saudi Arabia, northern Iraq, Egypt and others. About 1.6 Billion people in the world identify as Muslim, 85% Sunni, 15% Shia [1]. In a predominantly Shia country like Iran, the Imam’s role is to be the chief leader of the country’s mosques, the deliverer of sermons, chief authority in all religious education [2], in addition to other lofty roles that have to do with providing religious guidance. Unlike the Sunni variant, so far as I can tell, Shia Islam also regards the Imam, aka the Supreme Leader, as the sinless and inerrant descendant of The Prophet (Muhammad), and as such the infallible interpreter of right and wrong, kind of like how our Supreme Leader views himself. The point I want to make here is that Iran is a country of deeply pious people steeped in Islamic traditions that date back many hundreds of years. Far from separating matters of Church and State, as has been done in many other countries, in Iran the two are, since the 7th century, for all intensive purposes fused together. Not surprisingly then, religious people in Iran want to be free to practice their religion, publicly in full view of others during daily prayers, for example, or privately inside mosques. I understand that there are apps now, especially suited to young Muslims, that one can load on a smartphone and use to provide spiritual guidance and “instructions” for how to pray properly and demonstrate obeisance to Allah. The Imam in Iran is so deeply revered, he is (was), effectively, not only seen as the Supreme Leader, but more importantly, the nation’s Spiritual Leader. This reverence extends beyond the borders of Iran to Shia adherents around the world. Kind of like how our Supreme Leader wants us to believe he is revered around the world. But in the case of Khamenei, despite the unmistakable evidence of cruel despotism directed at his own people, his years-long admonition – Death to the Great Satans in this world! – enjoys a lot more support in the Muslim world than the Satans may want to admit, and thus will likely “complicate” the speedy compliance of their complete and utter surrender to the Greatest Satan. Is what I’m thinking

Meanwhile, the FLOTUS was sent on a new mission to the UN security counsel, where, fresh out of hair and makeup, seated with prestige at a long wooden table fashioned from American Ash, as chief advocate for the betterment of the world’s children, she had whispered in her ear the news that her husband had potentially just committed a war crime by bombing a girl’s school in Midan, Iran, killing the schoolchildren, 7-12 year old girls [3], and also, the whisperer continued, the president wanted you to know that in your absence, Ms FLOTUS, he made the executive decision to finalize the selection of the gold-matched drapes to be hung alongside the floor-to-ceiling windows in the new ballroom of his own design, the likes of which, he wanted us to assure you as well, the world has never seen. Consistent with its modern usage, the FLOTUS, on hearing this news, was described as nonplussed

1. A lot of people don’t know the vast majority of the world’s Muslims live in Asia, not the Middle East
2. Iran has public schools, but all education in those schools is religious based, promoting Islamic theology, beliefs and rules. There is no appetite for anything resembling a secular, objective education. For instance, most (not all) of the Iranian scientific workforce have schooled and trained abroad
3. Along with challenging topics in science, math and literature, the girls are inculcated in religious laws and traditions that will direct their own subjugation as women, reinforced by the chanting of political slogans and simultaneous stretching exercises